Being a professional of color navigating towards success is not an easy feat. We’re often met with unwritten yet omnipotent expectations that loom heavily over our heads with a common understanding that to ascend to leadership roles with real influence, the path demands significant time, effort, and a specific kind of resilience. For those of us belonging to this collective, these hidden societal expectations can often pose unique challenges with the added pressure of “keeping it real” and representing our culture without questioning or challenging others from our same culture.
Often, we are faced with numerous scenarios that require a decisive voice and confident navigation while also maintaining awareness of “who we are” in these situations. This includes managing conflict and tenuous interactions such as disagreements about responsibilities, generational friction, or more severe situations, like confronting racism and exploitation. Sometimes the conflict stems from personality differences or worse, expectations from other professionals of color that you will provide grace, space, and courtesy, yet in moments where accountability is expected, that same courtesy is not extended.
Conflict = Opportunity
When conflict rears its head, we cannot turn a blind eye. We can't wait for the issue to dissipate magically, nor should we attempt to merely sweep it under the rug. Such avoidance only lets the wounds fester. Instead, it is up to us (those who lead) to take the initiative to resolve the issue. Rather than seeing conflict as a destructive force or something to be avoided altogether, employing a systematic approach is necessary. We should aim to bring everyone involved to the table, fostering a safe and open environment that allows for the expression of grievances. The goal is to put on a show or to “save face”, but to work towards a resolution that benefits all parties involved. We need to be proactive, taking tangible steps towards conflict resolution. We need to treat conflict as a unique opportunity— for growth, learning, and understanding.
In this sense, it's crucial for us to ensure that we aren't acting as agents of harm. While shooting for the stars, we must collectively guarantee that we don’t leave any casualties behind. We should shuffle our priorities, ensuring that our hustle doesn't come at a regrettable cost. The key then becomes fostering empathy. Having empathy ensures that we are considering who might be wounded in addition to our own feelings. Admittedly, this has been a personal struggle for me as I’ve always been someone that works through every trauma and challenge, I encounter. It can be difficult putting myself in someone else’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective in tense moments. Over time I’ve learned that by understanding each other's backgrounds and perspectives, we can make strides towards resolving disputes. Disagreements can coexist with professionalism when we value authenticity alongside respect. This requires an environment where everyone can express their points of view without undermining the dignity of others.
Additionally, conflicts present unique opportunities for growth and understanding. If seen as a learning opportunity rather than an altercation, they can help refine processes, define boundaries, and design the path forward. They can enhance more robust relationships, fortify our organizational cultures, and foster a sense of inclusivity. As a collective of professionals of color, it is particularly important to support each other, especially those at the beginning of their careers, ensuring that everyone feels valued and heard. We must make sure that instead of letting our ambitions turn into weapons causing damage, we foster a community that prioritizes empathy, inclusivity, authenticity, and respect.
"Keeping it Real" with Integrity & Community in Mind
Keeping this balance and including authenticity and respect becomes even more essential during conflicts. In the end, our goal should not only be about creating thriving leaders but also about developing safe spaces where they can recharge and be themselves without the constant pressure of staying on the foremost front. It creates an environment for 2 way or group accountability ensuring that everyone presents as their best selves and does the work needed in our communities. Indeed, conflict can be leveraged to build, not burn, bridges. My plea is for us to harness the power of conflict to strengthen our community that comprises diverse professionals of color. It's not about letting conflicts wear us down to hollow shells of our past selves, but rather about using them to emerge resilient, together.
So, it is of paramount importance that we remember being "keeping it real" should not lead to unrealistic expectations of mediocrity nor should it be an excuse for maltreatment of each other. It should not be an excuse to cause harm or pile on insurmountable workloads that lead to burnout. Let us harness conflict to emerge stronger, using it to build bridges, not destroy them. If we truly want to uplift our community and prevent unnecessary suffering, handling conflict adeptly is not just an option--it's essential. Instead, we should encourage respect, cooperation, and a thriving community that can flourish and shine brightly. Perhaps this is the real success we're all striving for - not just for ourselves, but for emerging leaders who remain a fundamental part of our collective narrative. We're not just writing our individual stories. We're writing the story of an ambitious, goal-oriented, and future-focused community. We need to ensure all voices are heard, respected, and appreciated. Even when “keeping it real” goes wrong.
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